ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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