she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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