i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
