This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
