garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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