nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
