There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
