Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
