I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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