Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
