Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
