Girls should come with a carfax report
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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