Me. At least after what I've been through.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
