Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
