This girl is more easily done than said...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
