I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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