Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
