Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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