remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
