he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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