Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
