Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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