why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
