he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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