it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
