oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
