I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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