haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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