i was born a porn star she said
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
