have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
