last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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