Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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