last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize