What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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