i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
