Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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