Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
