I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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