He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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