then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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