whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
