my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize