We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
