Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
