Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
