i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
please come you make the beer taste better
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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