remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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