I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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