I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
