Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
