Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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