i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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