So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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