at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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