whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
