We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
