your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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