He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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