I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
