i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
