We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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